Becky (februa) wrote,

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I havnt posted in my own blog, or any comments on anyone elses blog since October last year. I dont really know why. I think its because of growing bitterness and lack of moving forward. I mean, here I am, still working on my PhD. And I knew this would be a 5+ year endeavor, but its still a little disheartening that Im still a year away from home. I am missing so much, and so many people. Becoming even more disillusioned about a career in academic Science - I mean, I already know Im not "gonna go there" but its ridiculous how much more crap there seems to be all the time. Its full time political positioning, begging for money, getting rejected and being mistrusted, blah.
I have lots of things I could post about. School, money, food, health, general observations. Im going to try to get back into things. Im thinking I should post about money and food so I can see in writing how disorganized I am in both of these realms. If I want to finish my PhD and afford to live, I need to pay down some (a lot) of the debt I have while I still have a tax-free job and am not accumulating student loan interest.

So whats the money situation? Im broke but dont live that way. Ive (with the help of my partner) done poorly at not using credit cards, and have such amassed (much)more credit card debt than when I started grad school - it was always my intent to pay back my cc's in grad school and just live of the money I earned....well that didnt happen. And I can do a really good job at passing the blame around on this, but in the end of it all, its only "my" debt (as in its all in my name), so it doesnt matter who or what helped me amass it, *I* have to be the one getting myself out of it. I would like to pay off a noticeable amount of debt in 2011 from budgeted income, *NOT* including any lump sum payments I might be able to make due to income tax refund/award getting. That shouldnt be too hard (as long as D is holding up his end of the finances)as I can afford an extra $500 a month myself if I budget properly, but the problem is, I want to pay off at least one of my big credit cards - which is around $5000 (including interest, Im sure Ill pay off more like $6000), which pretty much accounts for my total "extra" income - a little sad as I have more than one big credit card, plus a black hole of student loans. And I need to have an emergency fund, so when something happens that costs $1500, instead of adding it to the cc, I can pay it in cash - so far I have $250 in my "emergency fund" which is also my Christmas fund for now.... Man money is way more complicated than I want it to be, and the more I think, the more of it I seem to need.
By "broke" I just mean that I have more debts than I am reasonably paying off - I am not the kind of broke that even make it difficult to make payments, and I dont truly live paycheck to paycheck, as I do manage to have a couple hundred dollars left by the next time I get paid. Its just that I should be paying back way more of that money I spent ahead of time, but just cant seem to cut my lifestyle back to accomodate this. Its too easy to buy myself a new pair of shoes, or new conference clothes, or organic produce ridiculously overpriced, or lunch at work instead of bringing it, and I waste a lot of money on this.
Maybe I need to start a pf type blog where I write down my spending and payments on a weekly basis to be accountable. Thats a terrifying idea, but ive seen a few decent blogs that do just this, and seems like forcing yourself to pay more attention to money works to help manage it.
Just like with food. So I shold be paying more attention there. Always tempted to blog what i eat each day as Im one of those people who doesnt realize how much she is a great start to today, Ive had a large hot chocolate from Tims, and 2 hersheys caramel kisses. Pizza for lunch with Dept. Candidate, and Im sure chocolates and pizza for dinner. Not the healthiest plan....

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    Got paid, and had spent all but $40 of the remaining $200 I had on the weekend. WTF? Well, I needed to give $60 to my partner, spent $45 on groceries…

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    Yesterday I went to Walmart and put the $140 worth of purchases onto my Visa card. So much for not using the card eh? And I mean, I could have…

  • You wanna know what I ate yesterday?

    Large hot Chocolate from Tim Hortons 591 mL bottle of Coke Zero Hospital Ginger Beef stirfry for lunch (this is actually decent and comes with…

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